What Do My Eyes Tell You?

Me-"I asked you a question."

Scott-(with attitude)"And I answered you with my eyes."

How do you know what someone tells you with their eyes when they have them closed?

Man Behind the Curtain

Me-"Hey Scott"

Scott-"It's going to be okay."

Me-"What?"

Scott-"They listen to me now."

Me-"Who?"

Scott-"The commander in chief."

Me-"And who is that?"

Scott-"Josh."

What The Wobble?

Scott-"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."

Me-"What?!"

Scott-"Eagle Wobble."

Me-"What?!?!"

Scott-"Wobble."

Me-"What?!?!?!"

Scott-"Burt Wobble."

Me-"What?!?! Who is Burt Wobble?!"

Silence

Me-"Scott, what are you saying?"

Scott-"It's my choice."

Me-"What is?"

Scott-"To say whatever I want to here."

Way To Break A Girl's Heart

One night as I was getting into bed, Scott rolled over, kissed my forehead and said,

  "You're my gold", with a big smile on his face.

I laughed (a lot) and then he laughed too.

I asked him if he knew what he had said.

He mumbled something about L.A. and then said,

"I messed it up, I'm an elf."

A few minutes later I said, "Am I really your gold?"

He said quickly, "No."

Me-"What?!?!"

Scott-"No way Jose!"

Another Rough Night

"When I need something done, I need people to live up!!"

And later on,

"I don't need you to try to help figure out which way to screw me the most!"

A Walk to Remember

"Uh ok...........big cheese. Just pull on it, just pull on it. I'd just pull on it."

  A little later....

Me-"Where did you go today?"

Scott-"I walked in there and back."

Me-"Where?"

Scott-"The here and there."

All In A Night's Sleep

Scott- "He was carrying a blue elf and spooking a poop."      

And later on.....

Scott-"Anyway I had it right, so I win, so leave me alone."

(how do you spook a poop?)